Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.
Its all in the mind, you know.
I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe's singing until somebody told me that it wasn't a joke.
If you kill me, I promise you - you will never take me alive.
In India a farmhand was caught in the act with his cow. He said he had bad eyesight and thought it was his wife.
Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?