Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?

I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.

In India a farmhand was caught in the act with his cow. He said he had bad eyesight and thought it was his wife.

Money can't buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy.

I told you I was ill. (On his headstone)

We don't have anything planned, so nothing can go wrong.

I'm Irish. We think sideways