On the Ning Nang Nong Where the Cows go Bong! And the Monkeys all say Boo! Theres a Nang Nong Ning Where the trees go Ping! And the tea pots Jibber Jabber Joo On the Nong Ning Nang All the Mice go Clang! And you just cant catch em when they do! So its Ning Nang Nong! Cows go Bong! Nong Nang Ning! Trees go Ping! Nong Ning Nang! The mice go Clang! What a noisy place to belong,Is the Ning Nang Ning Nang Nong!

In India a farmhand was caught in the act with his cow. He said he had bad eyesight and thought it was his wife.

A bird in The Strand is worth two in Shepherds Bush

Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it's all in perfect working order.

Its all in the mind, you know.

The most difficult book I have ever read was a manual on the use of iron bangles by A.J. Thompson.

Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?