On the Ning Nang Nong Where the Cows go Bong! And the Monkeys all say Boo! Theres a Nang Nong Ning Where the trees go Ping! And the tea pots Jibber Jabber Joo On the Nong Ning Nang All the Mice go Clang! And you just cant catch em when they do! So its Ning Nang Nong! Cows go Bong! Nong Nang Ning! Trees go Ping! Nong Ning Nang! The mice go Clang! What a noisy place to belong,Is the Ning Nang Ning Nang Nong!

We were making love in the back of a truck and we got carried away.

Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it's all in perfect working order.

In India a farmhand was caught in the act with his cow. He said he had bad eyesight and thought it was his wife.

You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all the people some of the time, which is just long enough to be president of the United States.

I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe's singing until somebody told me that it wasn't a joke.

There is a time to live, a time to die, a time to laugh, and at no time are the three of them very far apart.