How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.

The most difficult book I have ever read was a manual on the use of iron bangles by A.J. Thompson.

Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it's all in perfect working order.

I thought I'd begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.

I'm a hero with coward's legs.

I cannot stand being awake, the pain is too much.

Many people die of thirst but the Irish are born with one.