Only on the third class tourist class passengers' deck was it a sultry overcast morning, but then if you do things on the cheap you must expect these things.

Education isn't everything, for a start it isn't an elephant

My father was my greatest inspiration. He was a lunatic.

For ten years Caesar ruled with an iron hand. Then with a wooden foot, and finally with a piece of string.

And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.

Aristocrats have heirs; the poor have children; the rest keep dogs.

In India a farmhand was caught in the act with his cow. He said he had bad eyesight and thought it was his wife.