If you kill me, I promise you - you will never take me alive.

I thought I'd begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.

General: Where are you from? Spike: London. General: Which part? Spike: ... Well, all of me.

My Father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic.

I cannot stand being awake, the pain is too much.

Chopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard.

Education isn't everything, for a start it isn't an elephant