I thought I'd begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.

Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?

Said Hamlet to Ophelia, I'll draw a sketch of thee. What kind of pencil shall I use? 2B or not 2B?

We don't have anything planned, so nothing can go wrong.

Education isn't everything, for a start it isn't an elephant

Life is a long agonized illness only curable by death.

Aristocrats have heirs; the poor have children; the rest keep dogs.