My father confused me. From the ages of one to seven, I thought my name was Jesus Christ!
Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.
Life is a long agonized illness only curable by death.
I thought I'd begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex.
I told you I was sick.