My father confused me. From the ages of one to seven, I thought my name was Jesus Christ!

If I don't eat soon, I'll die of hunger; and if I die, I won't eat soon.

I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe's singing until somebody told me that it wasn't a joke.

Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?

Chopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard.

Her mother was a cultivated woman - she was born in a greenhouse

Any man can be 62, but it takes a bus to be 62A.