Australia, Australia, we love you from the heart. The kidneys, the liver & the giblets too. And every other part.

Her mother was a cultivated woman - she was born in a greenhouse

And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.

In India a farmhand was caught in the act with his cow. He said he had bad eyesight and thought it was his wife.

You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all the people some of the time, which is just long enough to be president of the United States.

General: Where are you from? Spike: London. General: Which part? Spike: ... Well, all of me.

I'm a hero with coward's legs.