In India a farmhand was caught in the act with his cow. He said he had bad eyesight and thought it was his wife.
I'm Irish. We think sideways
General: Where are you from? Spike: London. General: Which part? Spike: ... Well, all of me.
A bird in The Strand is worth two in Shepherds Bush
It was a perfect marrige. She didn`t want to and he couldn`t
How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.