General: Where are you from? Spike: London. General: Which part? Spike: ... Well, all of me.
Spike MilliganThere is a time to live, a time to die, a time to laugh, and at no time are the three of them very far apart.
Spike MilliganIn India a farmhand was caught in the act with his cow. He said he had bad eyesight and thought it was his wife.
Spike MilliganOn the Ning Nang Nong Where the Cows go Bong! And the Monkeys all say Boo! Theres a Nang Nong Ning Where the trees go Ping! And the tea pots Jibber Jabber Joo On the Nong Ning Nang All the Mice go Clang! And you just cant catch em when they do! So its Ning Nang Nong! Cows go Bong! Nong Nang Ning! Trees go Ping! Nong Ning Nang! The mice go Clang! What a noisy place to belong,Is the Ning Nang Ning Nang Nong!
Spike Milligan