There is an old motto that runs, "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again." This is nonsense. It ought to read, "If at first you don't succeed, quit, quit at once."

All our yesterdays, it is true, have only lighted fools the way to dusty death. But we need at least the dates of the yesterdays and the list of the fools.

Writing is not hard. Just get paper and pencil, sit down, and write as it occurs to you. The writing is easy-it's the occurring that's hard.

A half truth, like half a brick, is always more forcible as an argument than a whole one. It carries better.

I am what is called a professor emeritus—from the Latin e, 'out,' and meritus, 'so he ought to be.

It was Einstein who made the real trouble. He announced in 1905 that there was no such thing as absolute rest. After that there never was.

Any two meals at a boarding-house are together less than two square meals.