There is an old motto that runs, "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again." This is nonsense. It ought to read, "If at first you don't succeed, quit, quit at once."

He flung himself from the room, flung himself upon his horse and rode madly off in all directions.

In point of morals, the average woman is, even for business, too crooked.

Advertising: the science of arresting the human intelligence long enough to get money from it.

All our yesterdays, it is true, have only lighted fools the way to dusty death. But we need at least the dates of the yesterdays and the list of the fools.

It's called political economy because it is has nothing to do with either politics or economy.

Anybody who has listened to certain kinds of music, or read certain kinds of poetry, or heard certain kinds of performances on the concertina, will admit that even suicide has its brighter aspects.