In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies.

Most people can tire of a lecture in fifteen minutes, clever people can do it in five, and sensible people don't go to lectures at all.

If I were founding a university I would begin with a smoking room; next a dormitory; and then a decent reading room and a library. After that, if I still had more money that I couldn't use, I would hire a professor and get some text books.

It is to be observed that 'angling' is the name given to fishing by people who can't fish.

It was Einstein who made the real trouble. He announced in 1905 that there was no such thing as absolute rest. After that there never was.

A silk dress in four sections, and shoes with high heels that would have broken the heart of John Calvin.

I am what is called a professor emeritus—from the Latin e, 'out,' and meritus, 'so he ought to be.