I've put an umbrella in my mouth and opened it. I sat in a lemon-meringue pie. I've done terrible things to my dog with a fork.

The Matisse seemed to respond to the decreasing light by increasing its own wattage. Every object in the room was drained of color, but the Matisse stood firm in the de-escalating illumination, its beauty turning functionality inside out, making itself a more practical and useful presence than anything else in sight.

A kiss may not be the truth, but it is what we wish were true.

I was seeking comic originality, and fame fell on me as a byproduct.

The teen years are extremely serious and everything matters and every insult really hurts. I know there are cliques and bullying. And you don't yet ­understand that it will all go away.

Halle Berry is here, whose win last year broke down barriers for unbelievably hot women.

I'm always looking for something to engage my imagination and take me on a little mental voyage. I just want a new topic in my life.