One day, when I came home from work, I accidentally put my car key in the door of my apartment building. I turned it, and the whole building started up. So I drove it around. A policeman stopped me for going too fast. He said, "Where do you live?" I said, "Right here!" Then I drove my building onto the middle of a highway, and I ran outside, and told all of the cars to get the hell out of my driveway.

While I was gone, somebody rearranged on the furniture in my bedroom. They put it in exactly the same place it was. When I told my roommate, he said: "Do I know you?"

How do you get off a non-stop flight?

If you shoot a Mime, do you need to use a silencer?

Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?

I saw a tree fall in the woods, and I didn't hear it.

I lost a button hole.