One day, when I came home from work, I accidentally put my car key in the door of my apartment building. I turned it, and the whole building started up. So I drove it around. A policeman stopped me for going too fast. He said, "Where do you live?" I said, "Right here!" Then I drove my building onto the middle of a highway, and I ran outside, and told all of the cars to get the hell out of my driveway.
Steven WrightGeorge is a radio announcer, and when he walks under a bridge... you can't hear him talk.
Steven WrightI replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving.
Steven Wright