If its tourist season, why cant we shoot them

I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don’t know what to feed it.

All of the people in my building are insane. The guy above me designs synthetic hairballs for ceramic cats.

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

I play the harmonica. The only way I can play is if I get my car going really fast, and stick it out the window.

I took a baby shower.