I'm seeing the world partially through the eyes of a kid. Not all the time. There's no black and white to it. But sometimes I'm seeing it like I'm 4.

I like to talk about lint and coasters, the expansion of the universe and maybe McDonald's. I'm completely turned off by the idea of politics.

Sometimes I wish my first word was 'quote,' so that on my death bed, my last words could be 'end quote.'

George is a radio announcer, and when he walks under a bridge... you can't hear him talk.

Why are there five syllables in the word “monosyllabic”?

I saw a vegetarian wearing a furry coat. so I looked closer. it was made of grass.

I was always making my friends laugh but I never wanted the attention of the whole classroom.