Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?

I used to be an airline pilot. I got fired because I kept locking the keys in the plane. They caught me on an 80 foot stepladder with a coat hanger.

If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat

If Dracula can't see his reflection in a mirror, how come his hair is always so neatly combed?

My nephew has HDADHD. High Definition Attention Deficit Disorder. He can barely pay attention, but when he does it's unbelievably clear.

My aunt gave me a walkie-talkie for my birthday. She says if I'm good, she'll give me the other one next year.

What's another word for Thesaurus?