[Referring to a glass of water:] I mixed this myself. Two parts H, one part O. I don't trust anybody!
People think my friend George is weird because he wears sideburns...behind his ears. I think he's weird because he wears false teeth...with braces on them.
No one is listening until you make a mistake.
I like to reminisce with people I don't know.
If you melt dry ice in a pool and go swimming, will you get wet?
Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.