I think God's going to come down and pull civilization over for speeding.

Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone...when I came back the entire area was missing.

Some friends of mine got me a sweater for my birthday. I'd have preferred a moaner or a screamer, but the sweater was OK.

Sponges grow in the ocean. That just kills me. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be if that didn't happen.

Did you sleep well?" "No, I made a couple of mistakes.

Last year we drove across the country...We had one cassette tape to listen to on the entire trip... I don't remember what it was.

If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer?