I saw a sign at a gas station. It said 'help wanted'. There was another sign below it that said 'self service'. So I hired myself. Then I made myself the boss. I gave myself a raise. I paid myself. Then I quit.

Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?

George is a radio announcer, and when he walks under a bridge... you can't hear him talk.

My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted.

I bought a house on a one-way dead-end road. I don’t know how I got there.

If one synchronised swimmer drowns, do all the rest have to drown too?

I like to fill my tub up with water, then turn the shower on and act like I'm in a submarine that's been hit .