People may think I'm trying something new by telling stories, but they're just jokes connected to give the illusion of stories. But really, I just continue using my imagination and creating. That's what I do.

I hate it when my leg falls asleep. I know that means it's going to be up all night.

All of the people in my building are insane. The guy above me designs synthetic hairballs for ceramic cats.

Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.

Always try to be modest, and be proud of it!

I'm so hyper. (said with a very dull voice>

Doing a little work around the house. I put fake brick wallpaper over a real brick wall, just so I'd be the only one who knew. People come over and I'm gonna say, "Go ahead, touch it... it feels real."