People may think I'm trying something new by telling stories, but they're just jokes connected to give the illusion of stories. But really, I just continue using my imagination and creating. That's what I do.

What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?

I like to go to art museums and name the untitled paintings... Boy With Pail... Kitten On Fire.

I have two pairs of reading glasses. One pair is for reading fiction, the other for non-fiction. I've read the Bible twice wearing each pair, and it's the same.

Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny.

I invented the cordless extension cord.