If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat

Yesterday I told a chicken to cross the road. It said, "What for?"

Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.

If I melt dry ice, can I swim without getting wet?

The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?

It's very intense to be in front of a live audience. It's just an amazing experience. It's dangerous. Everything out there is heightened. The bad stuff is extra-worse. The silences are extra-silent. The good stuff is amazing. It's electric when you walk out there. For 90 minutes, you're on this other planet.

I was born by Caesarian section . . . but not so you'd notice. It's just that when I leave a house, I go out through the window.