If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat

Last year we drove across the country...We had one cassette tape to listen to on the entire trip... I don't remember what it was.

I’m a psychic amnesiac. I know in advance what I’ll forget.

A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

You know those things that you throw the twigs into and it spits them out? That's what I do. The branches are like life, and I throw them into my head and some of it comes out as humor.

I used to own an ant farm but had to give it up. I couldn't find tractors small enough to fit it.

Whatever happened to preparations A through G?