I bought an ant farm. I don't know where I am going to get a tractor that small!

Someone asked me, if I were stranded on a desert island what book would I bring... 'How to Build a Boat.'

If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?

I didn't want to be selling insurance at 40, wondering what would it have been like to do stand-up.

My friend Winnie is a procrastinator. He didn't get his birth mark til he was eight years old.

Yesterday I told a chicken to cross the road. It said, "What for?"

I have the world's largest collection of seashells. I keep it on all the beaches of the world... perhaps you've seen it.