Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone...when I came back the entire area was missing.

You know how it is when you're reading a book and falling asleep, you're reading, reading... and all of a sudden you notice your eyes are closed? I'm like that all the time.

I like to reminisce with people I don't know.

Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish.

If you are killing time, are you damaging eternity?

I once tried to commit suicide by jumping off a building...I changed my mind at the last minute, so I just flipped over and landed on my feet. Two little kittens nearby saw what happened and one turns to the other and says, "See, that's how it's done."

Sorry... my mind was wandering... one time it went all the way to Venus and ordered a meal I couldn’t pay for.