Black holes result from God dividing the universe by zero.

I've always had to conquer fear when I'm on stage. Basically, I was and still am a very shy person. It's absolutely in conflict with what I do. But once I deliver the first joke I'm okay. It's like I'm out there all by myself just delivering my lines to nobody in particular without ever trying to notice the audience in front of me.

The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?

It usually helps me write by reading - somehow the reading gear in your head turns the writing gear.

I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography.

My school colors were clear. We used to say, 'I'm not naked, I'm in the band.

I put tape on the mirrors in my house so I don't accidentally walk through into another dimension.