I have an answering machine in my car. It says, I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out.
I hate it when my leg falls asleep. I know that means it's going to be up all night.
So I got off the plane and I forget to take off my seat-belt and I'm dragging the plane through the terminal... The wings are knocking people over.
Imagine Oshkosh straitjackets for little insane children.
I had just received my degree in Calcium Anthropology... the study of milkmen.
I changed my headlights the other day. I put in strobe lights instead! Now when I drive at night, it looks like everyone else is standing still.