Having sex with her is incredible. It's just like a concert. We throw Frisbees around the room. And when she wants more she lights a match.

I can't stop thinking like this.

I made a chocolate cake with white chocolate. Then I took it to a potluck. I stood in line for some cake. They said, "Do you want white cake or chocolate cake?" I said, "yes."

The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing.

I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.

I love eating chocolate cake and ice cream after a show. I almost justify it in my mind as, 'You were a good boy onstage and you did your show, so now you can have some cake and ice cream.'

Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?