Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?

If you got into a taxi and the driver started driving backward, would the taxi driver end up owing you money?

I was skydiving horizontally.

One time a cop pulled me over for running a stop sign. He said, "Didn't you see the stop sign?" I said, "Yeah, but I don't believe everything I read"

There's something about being in front of a live audience that's fun. It's a really interesting, very electric, very alive, and intense experience, and you can't get it anywhere else. And I've been doing it since I was 23, so it's part of my being - it's part of my fabric as a person.

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

Real life? Well, I just hope mine isn't investigated. They might find that I don't really exist - that I'm just a hologram.