The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing.

If you shoot a Mime, do you need to use a silencer?

Why is the third hand on a watch called a second hand?

I took a course in speed waiting. Now I can wait an hour in only ten minutes.

You know those things that you throw the twigs into and it spits them out? That's what I do. The branches are like life, and I throw them into my head and some of it comes out as humor.

Comedians are sociologists. We're pointing out stuff that the general public doesn't even stop to think about, looking at life in slow-motion and questioning everything we see.

What would a chair look like if your knees bent the other way?