The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing.

I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.

If you are in a spaceship that is traveling at the speed of light, and you turn on the headlights, does anything happen?

I have a large sea shell collection which I keep scattered on beaches all over the world. Maybe you've seen it.

The other day I went to a tourist information booth and asked, 'Tell me about some of the people who were here last year.

You know the old joke, I went to the fights and a hockey game broke out.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?