I made a chocolate cake with white chocolate. Then I took it to a potluck. I stood in line for some cake. They said, "Do you want white cake or chocolate cake?" I said, "yes."

Why are they called buildings when they’re already finished? Shouldn’t they be called builts?

If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny.

I took a lie detector test the other day. No, I didn't.

The things I talk about and explain couldn't happen - yet, they don't seem impossible - you could say I talk about the world in an abstract perspective. But then, the world is basically insane - and it's trying to pass itself off as being a sane place. I show it for what it is.

In school, every period ends with a bell. Every sentence ends with a period. Every crime ends with a sentence.

I got a dog and named him 'Stay'. Now, I go 'Come here, Stay!' After a while, the dog went insane and wouldn't move at all.