Officer, I know I was going faster than 55MPH, but I wasn't going to be on the road an hour.

The older you get, the more you learn to see what you've been taught to see. When you're a kid, you see what's there.

I changed my headlights the other day. I put in strobe lights instead! Now when I drive at night, it looks like everyone else is standing still.

I went for a walk last night and she asked me how long I was going to be gone. I said, 'The whole time.

When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me. I said, 'Well, what do you need?'

I'm not afraid of heights. I'm afraid of widths.

There's something about being in front of a live audience that's fun. It's a really interesting, very electric, very alive, and intense experience, and you can't get it anywhere else. And I've been doing it since I was 23, so it's part of my being - it's part of my fabric as a person.