Officer, I know I was going faster than 55MPH, but I wasn't going to be on the road an hour.

I went to the hardware store and bought some used paint. It was in the shape of a house.

I am writing a book. So far I have the pages numbered.

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

The lady across the hall tried to rob a department store . . . with a pricing gun. She said, "Give me all of the money in the vault, or I'm marking down everything in the store."

If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work?

Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors?