When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me. I said, 'Well, what do you need?'

When I was 16... I worked in a pet store. And they fired me because... they had three snakes in there, and one day I braided them.

Like other kids wanted to become firemen or astronauts, I wanted to make people laugh.

I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles.

If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.

Do the people in Australia call the rest of the world 'Up Over'?

Doing a little work around the house. I put fake brick wallpaper over a real brick wall, just so I'd be the only one who knew. People come over and I'm gonna say, "Go ahead, touch it... it feels real."