The older you get, the more you learn to see what you've been taught to see. When you're a kid, you see what's there.

Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?

I Xeroxed a mirror. Now I have an extra Xerox machine.

I was skydiving horizontally.

I've never seen electricity, that's why I don't pay for it

I got food poisoning today. I don't know when I'll use it.

I wrote a song, but I can't read music so I don't know what it is. Every once in a while I'll be listening to the radio and I say, "I think I might have written that."