It usually helps me write by reading - somehow the reading gear in your head turns the writing gear.

I took a baby shower.

I think it's wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.

You know how it is when you’re walking up the stairs, and you get to the top, and you think there’s one more step? I’m like that all the time.

I plugged my phone in where the blender used to be. I called someone. They went "Aaaaahhhh..."

I went to a garage sale. 'How much for the garage' 'It's not for sale.'

I'm not naked, I'm in the band.