It usually helps me write by reading - somehow the reading gear in your head turns the writing gear.

Winny would spend all of his time practicing limbo. He got pretty good. He could go under a rug.

When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me. I said, 'Well, what do you need?'

I saw a tree fall in the woods, and I didn't hear it.

There's a pizza place near where I live that sells only slices. In the back, you can see a guy tossing a triangle in the air.

How do you get off a non-stop flight?

You know what scares me? When you have to be nice to some paranoid schizophrenic, just because she lives in your head.