The doctor says he has to amputate all of me.
My doctor told me I shouldn't work out until I'm in better shape. I told him, 'All right; don't send me a bill until I pay you.'
Why are they called buildings when they’re already finished? Shouldn’t they be called builts?
Can you buy an entire chess set in a pawn shop?
You know the old joke, I went to the fights and a hockey game broke out.
For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.