I'm standing behind a wall of jokes. You don't know about my personal life, my girlfriends, or what I do when I'm not on the road. There's this guy, this comedian, and this is how he thinks, but people really don't know anything about me.

Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?

I eat swiss cheese. But I only nibble on it. I make the holes bigger.

My dental hygienist is cute. Every time I visit, I eat a whole package of Oreo cookies while waiting in the lobby. Sometimes she has to cancel the rest of the afternoon's appointments.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

I had amnesia once or twice.

I lost a button hole.