I'm standing behind a wall of jokes. You don't know about my personal life, my girlfriends, or what I do when I'm not on the road. There's this guy, this comedian, and this is how he thinks, but people really don't know anything about me.

I saw a sign: "Rest Area 25 Miles". That's pretty big. Some people must be really tired.

How come abbreviated is such a long word?

In Vegas, I got into a long argument with the man at the roulette wheel over what I considered to be an odd number.

I like to skate on the other side of the ice.

I saw a want ad. "light housekeeping." They said "Here, change this bulb." I said "I'll need some friends."

Why are there five syllables in the word “monosyllabic”?