In Vegas, I got into a long argument with the man at the roulette wheel over what I considered to be an odd number.

Last night somebody broke into my apartment and replaced everything with exact duplicates... When I pointed it out to my roommate, he said, "Do I know you?

I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done.

My friend Sam has one leg. I went to his house. I couldn't go up the stairs.

The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney.

I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet. So I said, "Got any shoes you’re not using?