When I have a kid, I want to buy one of those strollers for twins. Then put the kid in and run around, looking frantic. When he gets older, I'd tell him he used to have a brother, but he didn't obey.
Because I don't believe everything I read.
I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed-reading accident. I hit a bookmark.
always remember your unique, just like everone else
I like to skate on the other side of the ice.
I once tried to commit suicide by jumping off a building...I changed my mind at the last minute, so I just flipped over and landed on my feet. Two little kittens nearby saw what happened and one turns to the other and says, "See, that's how it's done."