In Vegas, I got into a long argument with the man at the roulette wheel over what I considered to be an odd number.

Nobody can really compare a relationship in which the victim is 15 years old to one where she's 6. While both criminal, they're very different circumstances.

Is boneless chicken considered to be an invertebrate?

I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck. But my lawyer thinks he can get me five.

I have the world's largest collection of seashells. I keep it on all the beaches of the world... perhaps you've seen it.

I got my driver's license photo taken out of focus on purpose. Now when I get pulled over, the cop looks at it [moving it nearer and farther, trying to see it clearly], and says, "Here, you can go"

Yesterday, my eyeglass prescription ran out.