The sun got confused about daylight savings time. It rose twice. Everything had two shadows.
To me, comedy is just twisting reality. It's commenting or observing or twisting life.
I was arrested for lip-syncing karaoke.
I have not lost my mind - it's backed up on disk somewhere.
I wear my heart on my sleeve. I wear my liver on my pant leg.
My friend has a baby. I'm recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant.