The best kind of friend is the kind you sit with, never say a word and walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you ever had.
All of the people in my building are insane. The guy above me designs synthetic hairballs for ceramic cats.
If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer?
I went to a garage sale. 'How much for the garage' 'It's not for sale.'
If one synchronised swimmer drowns, do all the rest have to drown too?
I wrote a few children's books... not on purpose.