Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

You know what scares me? When you have to be nice to some paranoid schizophrenic, just because she lives in your head.

Do fish get cramps after eating?

I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'

I didn't want to be selling insurance at 40, wondering what would it have been like to do stand-up.

Why do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery's dead?

Winny would spend all of his time practicing limbo. He got pretty good. He could go under a rug.