They say the universe is expanding. That should help with the traffic.

If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?

Isn't the best way to save face to keep the lower part shut?

Why are they called a-part-ments, when they're all stuck together?

I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck. But my lawyer thinks he can get me five.

I used to work at a health food store. I got fired for drinking straight Bosco on the job.

I have a map of the united states .... it's original size ... it says one mile equals one mile.