They say the universe is expanding. That should help with the traffic.

Yesterday I saw a chicken crossing the road. I asked it why. It told me it was none of my business.

Why buy a product that it takes 2000 flushes to get rid of?

How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him?

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

Childhood was very nice. The only thing wrong was that I was so introverted, everything became a big deal... 'Oh, no, here comes the bus. Where am I gonna sit on the bus?'

I saw a sign: "Rest Area 25 Miles". That's pretty big. Some people must be really tired.