Imagine if birds were tickled by feathers. You'd see a flock of birds come by, laughing hysterically!

I stayed in a really old hotel last night. They sent me a wake-up letter.

I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car.

I recently went to the hardware store and I bought some used paint... it was in a shape of a house. I also bought some batteries, but they weren't included. So I had to buy them again.

I used to work at a health food store. I got fired for drinking straight Bosco on the job.

A beautiful woman moved in next door. So I went over and returned a cup of sugar. She said, "You didn't borrow this." I said, " I will!"

I went to the museum where they had all the heads and arms from the statues that are in all the other museums.