Imagine if birds were tickled by feathers. You'd see a flock of birds come by, laughing hysterically!

So I got off the plane and I forget to take off my seat-belt and I'm dragging the plane through the terminal... The wings are knocking people over.

Be nice to your children. After all, they are going to choose your nursing home.

If you are in a spaceship that is traveling at the speed of light, and you turn on the headlights, does anything happen?

Should you trust a stockbroker who's married to a travel agent?

The other day, I was walking my dog around my building . . . on the ledge. Some people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

How do you get off a non-stop flight?