I bought a million lottery tickets. I won a dollar.
I went to a 7-11 and asked for a 2x4 and a box of 3x5's. The clerk said, "ten-four."
Some friends of mine got me a sweater for my birthday. I'd have preferred a moaner or a screamer, but the sweater was OK.
I met this wonderful girl at Macy's. She was buying clothes and I was putting Slinkies on the escalator.
Why, in a country of free speech, are there phone bills?
When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.