I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.
I wrote a few children's books... not on purpose.
If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
Babies don't need a vacation. But I still see them at the beach. It pisses me off.
The other day, I was walking my dog around my building . . . on the ledge. Some people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.
I got food poisoning today. I don't know when I'll use it.