My friend has a baby. I'm recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant.

I bought a cheap piece of land... It was on someone else’s property.

I went to a garage sale. 'How much for the garage' 'It's not for sale.'

If God dropped acid, would he see people?

I live on a one-way street that's also a dead end. I'm not sure how I got there.

I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

How come abbreviated is such a long word?