My friend has a baby. I'm recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant.

I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.

It was the first time I was ever in love, and I learned a lot. Before that I'd never even thought about killing myself.

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

Childhood was very nice. The only thing wrong was that I was so introverted, everything became a big deal... 'Oh, no, here comes the bus. Where am I gonna sit on the bus?'

Why is it lemon juice contains mostly artificial ingredients but dishwashing liquid contains real lemons?

Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.