To me, comedy is just twisting reality. It's commenting or observing or twisting life.

If Dracula can't see his reflection in a mirror, how come his hair is always so neatly combed?

If heat rises, then heaven must be hotter than hell

I have not lost my mind - it's backed up on disk somewhere.

Day One: Still tired from the move.

I like to skate on the other side of the ice.

I bought an ant farm. I don't know where I am going to get a tractor that small!