The sun got confused about daylight savings time. It rose twice. Everything had two shadows.

All those who believe in psychokinesis - raise my hand.

In my house there's this light switch that doesn't do anything. Every so often, I would flick it on and off just to check. Yesterday, I got a call from a woman in Germany. She said 'cut it out'

Last night I fell asleep in a satellite dish. My dreams were broadcast all over the world.

I watched the Indy 500, and I was thinking that if they left earlier they wouldn't have to go so fast.

I wrote a few children's books... not on purpose.

I look like a casual, laid-back guy, but it's like a circus in my head.