I lost a button hole.

I was watching the Superbowl with my 92 year old grandfather. The team scored a touchdown. They showed the instant replay. He thought they scored another one. I was gonna tell him, but I figured the game HE was watching was better.

I had a dream that all the babies prevented by the pill showed up. They were mad.

I bought a self learning record to learn Spanish. I turned it on and went to sleep; the record got stuck. The next day I could only stutter in Spanish.

I just got this new camera. It's very advanced - you don't even need it.

I don't get up, get dressed, go out, and think, 'Okay, I gotta find eight jokes.'

When I erase a word with a pencil, where does it go?