I lost a button hole.

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

It doesn't matter what temperature the room is, it's always room temperature.

I spent all my money on a FAX machine. Now I can only FAX collect.

I put hardwood floors on top of wall-to-wall carpet.

I parked in the tow-away zone, and when I got back, the entire neighborhood was gone.

My secret to staying young... Having no sense of time.