When I was five years old I was on a merry go round. There was a gunshot nearby. The horses stampeded. There I was running down the street on a purple wooden horse.

At one point he decided enough was enough.

I laugh all the time - at things, people, stuff, whatever. But, I don't laugh onstage because then it's serious business.

Everyone has a photographic Memory, some just don't have film.

I have two pairs of reading glasses. One pair is for reading fiction, the other for non-fiction. I've read the Bible twice wearing each pair, and it's the same.

There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators.

Yesterday I told a chicken to cross the road. It said, "What for?"