If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

Your honor, why would anyone in their right mind park in the passing lane?

I went to a 7-11 and asked for a 2x4 and a box of 3x5's. The clerk said, "ten-four."

I used to work at a health food store. I got fired for drinking straight Bosco on the job.

I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.

I took a course in speed reading. Then I got Reader's Digest on microfilm. By the time I got the machine set up, I was done.

43.7 per cent of all statistics are made up on the spot.