Is it possible to be totally partial?

I wish the first word I ever said was the word "quote", so right before I die I could say "unquote".

Last night I fell asleep in a satellite dish. My dreams were broadcast all over the world.

I saw a tree fall in the woods, and I didn't hear it.

I got an answering machine for my phone. . . . Now, when I'm not home and somebody calls me up . . . they hear a recording of a busy signal.

Why do we put suits in a garment bag and put garments in a suitcase?

I washed a sock. Then I put it in the dryer. When I took it out, it was gone.