I don’t have to walk my dog anymore. I walked him all at once.

So I got off the plane and I forget to take off my seat-belt and I'm dragging the plane through the terminal... The wings are knocking people over.

Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish.

I liked school, but I used to dread those moments when the teacher would call me up to give an oral report. I forced myself to deal with it and not dwell on the class in front of me - to keep a straight face, give the report and concentrate on getting it right. That's normally how I perform. That's how I am.

I think it's wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.

When I was five years old I was on a merry go round. There was a gunshot nearby. The horses stampeded. There I was running down the street on a purple wooden horse.

Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?